IRONMOM
Well, I did it! I actually did it. Two months ago, but that's how blogging goes these days. After 5 months of training, I completed the Ironman 70.3 on September 25, 2016. The most difficult physical challenge I have ever put my body through, second to childbirth. This was such an incredible journey for me, both mentally and physically. As soon as training began, I was plagued daily with anxiety, fear, and constantly wondering whether or not I had made a huge mistake. I never contemplated quitting, but I frequently wondered if I would actually be able to complete it. There were ups and downs every single day, and poor Bart took the brunt of it! Shortly after the race, I posted my "Ironman Story" on my Facebook page which I'm going to share here. I am sure you have all read it, but I need it saved in the family blog! And it accurately sums up my feelings which were more clear two months ago, when I threw up my feelings all over social media.
"I know some of my friends have this view of me that health and fitness are something that’s always been a part of my life, but that’s so far from the truth. This journey began back in my teens and early 20s when I battled a pretty severe eating disorder among other issues I’m not proud of. During that time, food and exercise were a means to control the uncontrollable, and punish myself for being the terrible person I thought I was. The love and support from my family carried me through those difficult years and after some intense emotional and physical treatment, eventually, I began to find myself. Shortly after, I stumbled into the skydiving community and met some of my best friends as well as my future husband, and I continued that time of healing. As the years went on and newfound happiness translated to a jollier figure, I decided I wanted to do something about it. But for the first time, I wanted to eat and exercise to fuel my HEALTH, not to cause my death. That journey began slowly for me around 2011 and then in 2013, shortly after moving to Florida, I discovered swimming! Which is how I met one of my favorite people in the world, Lindsay Elliott. From then on swimming, weight training, and learning about properly fueling my body became the center of my world in the most wonderful of ways. It’s been a journey full of ups and downs, trial and error, learning, failing, setbacks, pregnancy, and more. Periodically I’d get bored so I’d challenge myself with a half marathon, a triathlon, Crossfit, or a new way of training. Each time I challenged myself to something new I’d learn something about myself. The self-doubt that exists so largely inside of me would chip away a little at a time. And then, I had Gracie. If there is one thing in a woman’s life that can make her feel like an absolute superhero, it’s giving birth! Something about that experience awoke a giant inside of me! It made me see what my body can do when my mind lets it. My body that I had abused so much in the past did this INCREDIBLE thing, and it made me wonder what else it was capable of! Inspired by Lindsay’s completion of two 70.3 Ironmans (for which I told her she was insane), I decided to sign up for this crazy race, despite not being a runner, being absolutely terrified of cycling, and still being sleep deprived from motherhood, work, and life in general. I trained mostly by myself. I went from nervously riding up and down my street with Lindsay and Bart having to catch me before I fell, to completing over 600 miles of training rides. I went from barely being able to run 3 miles to completing over 140 miles of training runs. And I fell even more in love with swimming with around 28 miles over the 5 month training period. I trained on no sleep. I trained before the sun was up and after it went down. I trained on vacation. I trained when it was the last thing I wanted to do (which was often). I spent a lot of time with myself reflecting, thinking, pondering why it is I decided to take on this challenge and how far I’d come since my troubled teenage years. I realized how in the last 17 years of my life, I had gone from abusing my body in hopes that it would give out, to becoming the strongest, healthiest version of myself I’ve ever been. And along the way somewhere, I found new bits of pride and love for who I have become. There is still much work to be done as that little devil on my shoulder reminds me every day, but there were so many moments during the race, amid the pain and exhaustion, where the emotion of it all just overcame me. Especially when I’d see my cheering family on the sidelines. Crossing that finish line in Augusta, in such brutal conditions, was more than just the completion of a race. It was a reminder of my entire journey - going from a frail, sick, emotionally tortured girl, to a strong, determined, disciplined, IRONMOM. I believed I could, and I DID! That is a reminder we all need from time to time! Thanks to EVERYONE for the support and love throughout this process but particularly my family, Lindsay and Paul, and of course Bart, for enduring months of incessant Ironman talk, and for always working with our schedules so I could get my training in. And pretty much just being the best husband ever."
This race, comprised of a 1.2 mile swim, a 57 mile brutal bike course, and a 13.1 mile run in 92 degree heat was more challenging than I could've ever realized when I signed up. There were many "out of body" moments where fatigue, back pain, and heat exhaustion about took me out. Luckily we started with the swim which put my head in such a great place, as I enjoyed every second of that 1.2 miles. I was calmly in my element, stroking my way down the 78 degree Savannah River, giddy with excitement over what I was about to accomplish. I don't even remember many segments of the bike. Riding along long stretches of country roads with hundreds of other bikers, in silence, just the sound of tires spinning and birds chirping and the occasional "on your left!" Everyone in the same head space yet no one talking about it. It seemed to go on for hours. Well, it did. Over three, actually. When the bike was over I felt like I had conquered my fears. Conquered the WORLD! Like the hard part was over and I could celebrate! And I did, for a few minutes. Then began the hellish run in the oppressive heat. I knew about .2 miles in that it was going to be a rough go. Again, there are many segments I don't even really remember. Much like childbirth, it's as if I left my body for a while, focusing only on the sound of my feet hitting the pavement in an almost hypnotic manner. One after another after another after another. Periodically my head would come back to Earth when I would see my family cheering me on. As soon as I would see their faces, the tears would begin flowing and I would realize how hot I was. How intense my neck and back pain were. How I wanted nothing more than to be done. To hug them. And to guzzle an ice cold beer. It seemed like it would never end! But 7 hours and 8 minutes later, it did. That feeling when I crossed that finish line cannot be described in words. It's a feeling like no other, and as Lindsay reminds me, it is something that can never be taken away from me. I DID IT. And having my family there for it was the cherry on top of an already sweet and delicious cake. We made a whole weekend out of it, complete with THREE nights of sleep sans Gracie (thanks mom and dad!). I will never, ever forget this experience. Often I am asked, "would you do it again?" Or my other favorite, "so are you going to do a 140 Ironman next?" The answer to both of those is NO! At least, not anytime soon. Maybe once I no longer have small children. :) But the pride I feel from just this one race has made a lasting impression on my constant quest for self confidence and belief in myself that I can do more than I think I can. I know it's "just a race," but to me, it was so, so, so much more. Thank you to EVERYONE who supported me during this entire process, and to those who have supported me my entire life. It takes a village! And I have a pretty great one.
"I know some of my friends have this view of me that health and fitness are something that’s always been a part of my life, but that’s so far from the truth. This journey began back in my teens and early 20s when I battled a pretty severe eating disorder among other issues I’m not proud of. During that time, food and exercise were a means to control the uncontrollable, and punish myself for being the terrible person I thought I was. The love and support from my family carried me through those difficult years and after some intense emotional and physical treatment, eventually, I began to find myself. Shortly after, I stumbled into the skydiving community and met some of my best friends as well as my future husband, and I continued that time of healing. As the years went on and newfound happiness translated to a jollier figure, I decided I wanted to do something about it. But for the first time, I wanted to eat and exercise to fuel my HEALTH, not to cause my death. That journey began slowly for me around 2011 and then in 2013, shortly after moving to Florida, I discovered swimming! Which is how I met one of my favorite people in the world, Lindsay Elliott. From then on swimming, weight training, and learning about properly fueling my body became the center of my world in the most wonderful of ways. It’s been a journey full of ups and downs, trial and error, learning, failing, setbacks, pregnancy, and more. Periodically I’d get bored so I’d challenge myself with a half marathon, a triathlon, Crossfit, or a new way of training. Each time I challenged myself to something new I’d learn something about myself. The self-doubt that exists so largely inside of me would chip away a little at a time. And then, I had Gracie. If there is one thing in a woman’s life that can make her feel like an absolute superhero, it’s giving birth! Something about that experience awoke a giant inside of me! It made me see what my body can do when my mind lets it. My body that I had abused so much in the past did this INCREDIBLE thing, and it made me wonder what else it was capable of! Inspired by Lindsay’s completion of two 70.3 Ironmans (for which I told her she was insane), I decided to sign up for this crazy race, despite not being a runner, being absolutely terrified of cycling, and still being sleep deprived from motherhood, work, and life in general. I trained mostly by myself. I went from nervously riding up and down my street with Lindsay and Bart having to catch me before I fell, to completing over 600 miles of training rides. I went from barely being able to run 3 miles to completing over 140 miles of training runs. And I fell even more in love with swimming with around 28 miles over the 5 month training period. I trained on no sleep. I trained before the sun was up and after it went down. I trained on vacation. I trained when it was the last thing I wanted to do (which was often). I spent a lot of time with myself reflecting, thinking, pondering why it is I decided to take on this challenge and how far I’d come since my troubled teenage years. I realized how in the last 17 years of my life, I had gone from abusing my body in hopes that it would give out, to becoming the strongest, healthiest version of myself I’ve ever been. And along the way somewhere, I found new bits of pride and love for who I have become. There is still much work to be done as that little devil on my shoulder reminds me every day, but there were so many moments during the race, amid the pain and exhaustion, where the emotion of it all just overcame me. Especially when I’d see my cheering family on the sidelines. Crossing that finish line in Augusta, in such brutal conditions, was more than just the completion of a race. It was a reminder of my entire journey - going from a frail, sick, emotionally tortured girl, to a strong, determined, disciplined, IRONMOM. I believed I could, and I DID! That is a reminder we all need from time to time! Thanks to EVERYONE for the support and love throughout this process but particularly my family, Lindsay and Paul, and of course Bart, for enduring months of incessant Ironman talk, and for always working with our schedules so I could get my training in. And pretty much just being the best husband ever."
This race, comprised of a 1.2 mile swim, a 57 mile brutal bike course, and a 13.1 mile run in 92 degree heat was more challenging than I could've ever realized when I signed up. There were many "out of body" moments where fatigue, back pain, and heat exhaustion about took me out. Luckily we started with the swim which put my head in such a great place, as I enjoyed every second of that 1.2 miles. I was calmly in my element, stroking my way down the 78 degree Savannah River, giddy with excitement over what I was about to accomplish. I don't even remember many segments of the bike. Riding along long stretches of country roads with hundreds of other bikers, in silence, just the sound of tires spinning and birds chirping and the occasional "on your left!" Everyone in the same head space yet no one talking about it. It seemed to go on for hours. Well, it did. Over three, actually. When the bike was over I felt like I had conquered my fears. Conquered the WORLD! Like the hard part was over and I could celebrate! And I did, for a few minutes. Then began the hellish run in the oppressive heat. I knew about .2 miles in that it was going to be a rough go. Again, there are many segments I don't even really remember. Much like childbirth, it's as if I left my body for a while, focusing only on the sound of my feet hitting the pavement in an almost hypnotic manner. One after another after another after another. Periodically my head would come back to Earth when I would see my family cheering me on. As soon as I would see their faces, the tears would begin flowing and I would realize how hot I was. How intense my neck and back pain were. How I wanted nothing more than to be done. To hug them. And to guzzle an ice cold beer. It seemed like it would never end! But 7 hours and 8 minutes later, it did. That feeling when I crossed that finish line cannot be described in words. It's a feeling like no other, and as Lindsay reminds me, it is something that can never be taken away from me. I DID IT. And having my family there for it was the cherry on top of an already sweet and delicious cake. We made a whole weekend out of it, complete with THREE nights of sleep sans Gracie (thanks mom and dad!). I will never, ever forget this experience. Often I am asked, "would you do it again?" Or my other favorite, "so are you going to do a 140 Ironman next?" The answer to both of those is NO! At least, not anytime soon. Maybe once I no longer have small children. :) But the pride I feel from just this one race has made a lasting impression on my constant quest for self confidence and belief in myself that I can do more than I think I can. I know it's "just a race," but to me, it was so, so, so much more. Thank you to EVERYONE who supported me during this entire process, and to those who have supported me my entire life. It takes a village! And I have a pretty great one.
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